Halloween Day

When my Ris cleans, she wears nothing but an apron so that her butt is visible. Of course, I'm just kidding. It's just a way to catch your attention. My Ris is one of those types that fears horror flicks yet she watches them when she's around me. I always enjoy it because she will hold on to me ever so tightly especially at the most chilling, gut-wrenching scenes. Although it does get intense at times, I feel her warm, scented embrace that makes it impossible for me to let her go. She's very cute in that way.

Get well soon, Ris. Taking that flu shot must have drained you down a bit. Keep smiling, ok?

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen."
La Rochefoucauld

Distant Heart

Distance. I barely know what it feels like to be apart from the individual you love in terms of physical distant. A few miles can never separate my affection for her. This is why I admire those whose major obstacle is a long-distance relationship. It's a sorrowful feeling to know that you can't physically interact with your love. You can't put your arms around them, nudge them to express a type of joke, see their current smile, give them warm kisses on the cheeks, or just hold their hands in a statement that you will never let go of them. It is, without a doubt, difficult.

Knowing that it would be a difficult task, isn't it best to try and keep in contact with them for as long and as often as possible? I mean, opening up to them and expressing your feelings in depth can surely make the person on the other side of the line have a feeling of comfort. Even daily chit-chats can surely give them a sense of ease knowing that you can care less about the distant obstacle and be in concern about telling them that you made new friends or had your first shot of vodka. In other words, take the optimistic approach.

Distance. I'm definitely not an expert at it.
But whether you take that advice or not, it's up to you. I mean, what else can you do but that? It doesn't make any sense to keep things to yourself unless you just purposely want to end that relationship due to the extreme difficulty of the situation. Even staring at the same night sky can't fix being apart... But if you truly love her, you'll get through it. Just remember that she's suffering as much as you are...

Rainy Days

When it rains, I always have memories of my childhood. People tend to get sick during such weather. Some also hates the wet, humid atmosphere that seemingly makes it oh-so gloomy. However, I always used to love rainy days. Brings back the olden times where my siblings and I would strip half-naked out in the streets and splash around in the gray, beautifully circled pools created by such harsh precipitation. Then we would be forced inside to take warm showers and be engulfed in oversized blankets. The most memorable part of it however was the sweet, chocolate rice porridge. Its luring aroma creates a very pleasant sensation that drives you to believe that it's out of this world. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but when my mom used to make them, it really gave a welcoming impression and a hell of a taste.

But now, with so much more awareness in my surroundings, I rarely appreciate the beauty of little things like rain. As a child, a lot of details fascinated me: the way nature unfolds itself, the seasons, the clockwork of matter and things unexplainable. As I became an adult, everything else that has nothing to do with me became invisible. I no longer question how things work. Instead, I am constantly trying to improve myself in the rich, yet complex, society we must grow to be a part in. The things I do is almost always associated with the question: "How would this benefit me?"

Sometimes, I wish that I could be a child again. A kid with a carefree attitude, an unselfish way of thinking, and very innocent about the chilling world he lives in. Complexity is something that gives me headaches and is a reminder that you are no longer young and sooner or later, you must fend for yourself.

Rainy days does indeed give a melancholy type of feeling. It gives the world a very lonely and depressing existence especially when it is accompanied by thick, dark clouds. But through the mind of my early youth, all I would be thinking about is what rain would taste like when mixed with a warm, chocolaty batch of champorado.

Imperfect Growth

How do you grow to like someone? I never really understood what that meant. In a sense I guess it means to attempt and befriend one by spending a period amount of time with them. But what if it was force-fed and you try your hardest to like someone? Is being fond of someone a natural feeling? Does it just click in an instant and upon realizing that you do have feelings for someone, it just goes smoothly from there? Is it physical attraction? Perhaps you admire his or her beauty on the inside?

The social needs of human interactions requires us to have the need to feel loved, accepted, and part of something. This ultimately creates our self-esteem and builds for a desire for more recognition and respect from others. You know, feeling important and as if your actions affects an outcome motivates you into doing more. This leads us to believe that by having the right encouragement and support, we can reach our fullest potential.

But why is the act of socializing a basic need for society? Because it allows us to survive. It gives us a feeling of security and a sense of being somebody. It makes us grow into the person we will become as time passes giving both direct and indirect influences from people you have met in the travels of life. I gained a lot of positive, as well as negative, influences from those around me. Yet I still have a lot to learn about this intangible, mental state they call love.

My mindset is all in confusion as to what determines a legit relationship. Trust? I guess that's one factor. Comfort? I believe this is also a necessity. Honesty? But what else? I'm pretty sure I'm missing a lot more than this.

I am growing to a person that I've always wanted to become. Wearing a mask to have the ability to befriend others when needed. This facade is not always there however. The people I'm never a fake around is my beloved family and my best friend/girl, Ris. I feel like I can open up to them. Even if it's indirectly, they get a sense of how I'm feeling. From the sound of my voice, the actions I choose to do, the expression I give. Others can see me however they want to see me. I could care less about what others expect me to be. But my family and Ris means everything to me and so, I show them who I truly am.

Each passing day strengthens the growth of my youth in a way that makes me feel so alive when I'm with her...

New Heights

Thanks for healing my wounds...
I finally realized that you care a lot about me...
I knew you cared...
But didn't know to what extent...
And with that, the pain I felt...
Ultimately didn't feel like pain...
Instead, I felt happy that you were there...
A caring angel indeed...
We laughed to cover up the wound...
And with that, I felt almost recovered...
Thanks...
That's why I chose you...

Now that I think about it, I wouldn't mind falling for you again.

Just so you can come and pick me back up...

Sea Gods and Such

It has been officially two months since we've been together. And guess what? I've loved every hour, every minute, and every second I've spent with her. In fact, I never once got tired of being with her. Most of the time, it even felt too short. I'm very content with our current situation and I'm still very much fond of her. It never died, or changed, to begin with.

Recalling back to the beginning, it was scary to think ahead and the things that could possibly go wrong. But now, I fear nothing. Instead, I have a lot of confidence expressing my feelings for her. Time is just a factor that shouldn't even weigh down the special moments we have together. The experiences we have together is what counts and winding passed the bumpy ride that love takes you through sometimes is a glorifying achievement.

The Odyssey hints at the unlimited capacity of man when it come to the power of love. Despite the obstacles he was forced to endure and the sacrifices he had to make, Odysseus never gave up trying to reach his one and only love. Although he did have some affairs along the way, he never loved anyone like he loved his queen. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that life can posts you a lot of problems and though it is sometimes difficult to deal with, you can accomplish anything when you have a motivating factor, specifically the care, support, and love of someone. I mean, what do you fight for anyway? Why do you live your life day by day? Everyone needs to be loved and showing that type of affection is very meaningful.

I hope our fond for each other will remain the same. Either that, or get stronger along the unpredictable road that we sometimes need to just go through. It's ok to close your eyes, shed some tears, pray for a better ending. Hope is what keeps us going. Hope and love. Love and hope.

Happy second month, Ris! Stay cheerful. Keep smiling.

Comfortable Zone

It's been a long journey. Looking back at how we started and the fast-paced progress of our love story impresses me. Not that I'm trying to brag or anything, but I just feel that our connection is so much more intense in a way that I feel very comfortable with her. It started out with shy and hidden feelings but it finally amounted into a relationship that seems to be much more easy going. We can always kid around about anything. Our laughs are even sometimes uncontrollable to the point that we are close to tears and our stomachs would feel like bursting. Haha. Just thinking about it makes me smile.

But that's not even the best part. We haven't really hit a wall where we had a real fight yet. Sure there's been some drama but that's just ideal. Whether it's a good or bad thing, I love the way it is now. I feel free from stress and very much alive like I've never felt before. I hope she feels the same way. I don't even have bad dreams anymore either...or at least, I can't remember them. Everything's going so well.Recently, we went to this potluck, Asian buffet-style feast where you do the cooking and eating. I've noticed something so good. Well, I'm not really talking about the food (Although it was great especially when Ris did the cooking! What a show-off!). I've noticed how close we are now. When we were cooking and all that, it felt like we were even like a married couple! Haha, it was hilarious. Cracking jokes, contributing to the sweet scent of appealing food, small pecks here and there, drinking an excess amount of milk tea, feeding each other the cuisine we created, and so on and so on until our bellies bulged out. Simply, we had a great time.

The whole point is knowing that we are very much comfortable with each other. Ultimately, it's an increase in our trust for each other as well. I trust her, and I believe she trusts me. How do I know? She told me so...

It's been a long journey. But it's not over yet! We've still got Lake Tahoe, Freight Fest, Reno, L.A. (shoutout to Jam! Muhaha =]), Korea, Japan, Paris, etc., etc., and each other. We've still got each other... =]