Daydreamer

Sometimes, emotions can't be kept to one's self. Sometimes it's best to let it out regardless of the extremity of how you feel. From overly joyous to highly angered, you just have to let it out sometimes, you know. Get it off your chest. Because sometimes, the feeling just eats you up little by little. It's a burden to carry that feeling around all the time without having the guts to express it. People tend to have a habit of acting differently in different situations. It doesn't mean that anyone should be easily judged with their current actions.

For example, you know those people that would just stare blindly at open space? Then when you ask them what they're thinking about, they'll shrug and say "nothing". Kind of mysterious, huh? As if they were keeping a secret from you. That's actually not the case. According to my English professor, people that does that is in a process of "imaging" where they were visualizing an event or a previous memory but as soon as you interrupt them, the memory completely just exits their mind and they've lost what they were thinking about. It's kind of like that. It may seem like the person is not very bright but in fact, all that daydreaming is actually a positive neurological way of thinking. It stimulates the brain. Same thing goes with how you feel. You may say something but mean completely something else. Or you may not say something at all even if it bothers you.

I sort of lack the quality of being expressive. I like being calm and quiet, keeping things to myself especially with my current state. It's kind of frustrating in a way, too. It's tempting to just spill out what you want to say but you get a sense that sometimes it's best to keep it to yourself. But then you realize what good is it to have someone close to you if you can't even tell them your true feelings? Like when you hint that there's something wrong with you and they inquire you about it, but instead of exposing what's bothering you, you smile weakly and say that there's nothing wrong. Of course, the person would feel sad knowing that you can't even trust him or her with your problems.

I think everyone experienced that sort of thing. You feel excluded, like your help is unwanted, but you can't really do much since you don't even know what's wrong with your friend. And sometimes, you're on the other end as well. Like you don't really want to talk about it yet you show that it really is a huge concern for you. In any case, it's a sorrowful feeling trying to hide problems that disturbs your state of mind.I am, however, working on being more open towards Ris. Even though it's a slow progress, I'm trying my best to tell her any emotions that comes to mind. Earlier last week, I kind of shunned her out with what I was thinking about but hopefully next time I'll express every bit of feelings that I have whether it be frustration or sadness or whatever. I mean, she is trying to lend a helping hand and so who am I to tell her that she can't help me with my own problems? I should at least give it a go and tell her the difficulties that I'm having. You never know, maybe all of her daydreaming can lead to some of the more brighter solutions in life! So keep being a day dreamer, Ris! =]