Déjà Vu

School seems so tiring sometimes. Same routine, same headaches, same boring classes. What's worst is when tests and exams from different classes come up together making for a messy weekend filled with attempted studies and overwhelming stress. The exams just pile up one by one for some reason. I guess it's what they call the midterms.

To make matters even worst, I'm still losing sleep. I can't seem to sleep straight especially when you get all these weird and gloomy dreams! It's as if you never even want to go back to sleep again. I'm not suffering from any insomnia or anything, it's just that I choose not to go to sleep. Talk about a pain. Plus, everyone keeps making me think harder and harder about the things I do. Am I really doing such a bad job in life?

Just about the only thing I look forward to is Ris. It's the truth, too. Everyday is filled with constant glances at my phone to see if she texted, or waking up in the middle of the day to be disappointed that it isn't even time to give her a call yet, or attempting to do my homework just to find myself thinking about her again. Am I obsessed with her? I don't think so. I believe that I'm just missing her so much that it's slowly killing me inside. The only thing keeping me alive is the thought that I'll get to see her again anyways. Hah. Ok, maybe that's a bit more dramatic but in any case, I miss her a lot.

It's this type of cycle that's making me frustrated at times. Why can't I just end class already so that I can come and see my Ris? Especially when the classes are so pointless! I hate it. I'm better off learning on my own.

I've been having these dreams lately. Have you ever had a moment in time where a certain situation befalls and you're thinking "Wait a minute. I could have sworn this happened already..."? Well, that's what's been bothering me as well. Some of my dreams are so vivid that it seems so real. And part of it even comes true! Talk about déjà vu. I keep thinking that maybe some of the bad dreams that I've been having would occur in reality and it scares me. I just hope that it will never happen because although I may have seen it before, I would still be unprepared for what's to come...