Autumn Days

Expressing your most inner feelings for someone, especially someone dear to you, is something that's very difficult to do. Sometimes, you come across an opportunity in which you can finally say or do what you've been wanting to do for sometime now yet you choke and in a split second, that chance has passed on by. Then, maybe you realize that it wasn't the right time anyways and try to reassure yourself that taking no action was the right idea. Or maybe you feel disappointed and regretful that you didn't grasp that chance when you had it. Either way, what's done is done.

College. As a freshman, and having completed a week's worth of class introduction, schedule shuffling, material hunting, and peer conversing, it didn't really seem like a big deal. I wasn't excited or intimidated or even anxious to be back to school. I think it was because my head was still in the clouds that formed my one and only Ris. I've really just want to get over school so I can finally see her once again. Despite attending the same school, our scheduling was different and so, I miss her... a lot.

Call me obsessed (although I don't consider myself one), but is it so wrong to think about your girl once in a while? Ok, maybe it's more like "always", but at least I don't stalk her or tell her what to do or constantly call her to keep myself in check. I believe that giving her the freedom that she had always had would strengthen our trust for each other. After all, it's her life and maybe I'm just a stepping stone in whatever goals she might have in the future. Even if that's the case, I'm glad that I could be a part of her life. It just makes me happy to know that.

What we have is special. Well, I'd like to think so anyways. With so many precautions that we took, I believe that our relationship is stable and solid for the most part. There are some instances where (being the paranoid boy that I am) I'm somewhat concern about her. I mean, college is a big place, lots of people, potential love partners, more interesting individuals than I am, and so on. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm scared to lose her to someone who might be a hundred times better than me. But until that time comes (if it will ever come although I hope not), I will cherish the moments I have with her.

I guess the start of college can be consider as a test of our wills, our trust, and our patience. I have her and that's all I really want. Didn't know that college can be a breeze knowing that by the end of Friday, you can once again see your Martian counterpart smiling at the very sight of you in a surprisingly hot Autumn day.